Let's start my anus horriblis by recounting a recent accident, which happened on a friend's birthday drink in the town of Leicester. I fell down some stairs in the wet, and injured my bottom and brain.

There are no pictures of my bruised brain I'm afraid, but suffice to say I was diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome, and it hurt for a little over a month every bit as much as my bottom did.
The pain has now gone, and sufficiently not aware of morbidness enough my cat Edward then had a turn which required three appointments with the vet, and cost £284. He had a cat equivalent of a UTI. The vet was uncertain as to whether he would hallucinate, as humans do. As indeed HRH Phil - the nation's favourite racist - perhaps has recently.
Older and now wiser in the ways of insurance, falls and alcohol-related injuries, I thought I should take a moment to set down my recent bleakness. Though heaven knows I have five diaries I can never bring myself to read, tainted with embarrassment as I am and always have been.
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Location:Jake Rd,Beeston,United Kingdom